Welcome back to the 3 part series, “Get some allies!”. In Part 1, I talked about how important it is to have allies in the first place. In Part 2, I spoke of the difference between allies and them what’s not.  This is the final installment, wherein I help you to identify the key characteristics that make up a true ally.

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So, what makes a good ally? For personal or business allies, the criteria are the same:

• Shares your ethical values
• Demonstrates good judgment
• Doing their best to live their life according to their Highest Self
• Tells you the truth
• Celebrates your success enthusiastically
• Demonstrates goodwill as a main character trait

And these three critical humdingers:

• Has your best interests at heart
• Has your back (is loyal)
• Encourages your growth, prosperity and purposeful risk taking

You don’t choose allies out of fear or not wanting to hurt their feelings. It’s not a popularity contest. It’s not a contest at all. This is about picking a team/tribe/community to surround you who will help you cultivate and express your best.

Here’s an easy, straightforward method for helping you distinguish between allies and them what ain’t.

First, make a list of everyone in your life who you love, trust, admire, are close with, respect, spend time with regularly and/or are related to.  Make the list thorough; when in doubt, include them.

Then run every single name on that list through the list of ally qualities above. Be honest, and trust your gut over your “better judgment” here. Who are your real allies? I’ll bet there are surprises and disappointments on that list. You’ve quickly become aware that some folks who you thought were your allies aren’t. But on the bright side, some folks you might have never previously considered turned up as candidates for future alliances.

Now, there will be a short list of people whom you hold in highest esteem. Make a list comprising the top 5 of these worthies.

Here’s the risky, delicious, really cool fun part: go ask each and every one of them to be your ally. The folks who pass your litmus test will say yes. Really, they will. Tell them your plans, hopes, goals and dreams. Ask theirs, and after listening intently, propose an alliance between you to assist each other in the achievement of each other’s goals. Some allies will offer energetic support. Others will offer practical support and solutions.

Go ahead, prove me right. Ask, and enjoy the advantages that having allies will bring your increasingly fabulous life.

Ask. I dare you.

Did you stop to think that I might be your ally?

Molly Burke CPCC MSU
Queen of Confidence
www.lifepurposeworks.com
“Everyone can use an extra boost of confidence every now and again.”

In part one of this 3 part series, I talked about how important it is to surround yourself with allies.

Now it’s time to talk about who to choose as your allies. The allies you choose will be instrumental on your path to success. The wrong choices can materially contribute to your failures. It’s up to you to choose wisely and well. Hoo boy, no pressure there, huh?

Okay, so what IS an ally? Allies are the people with whom you deliberately create strategic alliances for your mutual betterment. You share common goals, values, and optimal operating practices with these people. You know how they feel, because they call you forth and gladly encourage your greatness.

You might assume that all your friends and family are automatically your allies. Not so fast. In many instances, they’re not. They want what they want for you, clouded with their fears for your well being, their projections, their insecurities, their attachments and agenda for how they think you should be living your life. At their worst, they are likely to act jealous and profoundly unsupportive. They might mean well (or not), but they’re just not necessarily the best default choices.  As a matter of fact, when it comes to choosing allies, there ARE no default choices.

Now don’t get me wrong. Some of your friends and family, former teachers, mentors, coaches, classmates, business partners, colleagues and spiritual advisors can make GREAT allies. But choose carefully. Just because they express love and support does not mean they’ll encourage your growth, especially if your growth comes to threaten the way they live their own life or their present relationship with you. They might actually come to deeply resent you.

Your allies can come from any part of your life. In preparation for Part 3 of this series, make a list of everyone you think might be a potential ally, whether they are an ally of yours now, or even if you don’t know if you’d dare to ask them to be your ally (or not). We’ll be doing some great examination of your list with the contents of the next post. Stay tuned.

Who do you think your allies might be?

Molly Burke CPCC MSU
Queen of Confidence
www.lifepurposeworks.com
“Everyone can use an extra wee dram of confidence every now and again.”

You’ve heard the old adage: people are like snowflakes, no two are alike. Essential and delightful are all those differences. Worthy of celebration.

Society, humanity, tribe, family, partners. While our similarities draw us together, it’s really the differences that make it go. The differences between us give our world richer flavor, greater opportunities, more options. We can use those differences to drive our research, ignite our passions, inspire our art and music. They exalt us, challenge us, delight and surprise us.

I am pleased to live in a Bubble of Extreme Tolerance AKA the San Francisco Bay Area. Here we have all manner of folks, from arch conservatives to tree huggers, haute couture to Haight Ashbury, gender benders to traditionalists, all religions to “None, thank you” and everybody in between.  Here you either get over your petty prejudices or you are miserable from exposure. This glorious diversity affords great opportunities for celebrating what makes you different.

Yeah, you. Sitting there reading this blogpost. Hello. What makes you different?  Where are your square bits that don’t quite fit the round holes of society?

Come on, out with them. Everybody has something that makes them different. Your divine differences are exactly what the world wants, craves, needs. Your differences enrich us, touch us, move us to action and emotion. Your differences are provocative, stimulating, unnerving and edgy. They make us think. Differently.

Your differences make you who you are, as special as that clichéd snowflake and likewise worthy of great praise.

Too often we make ourselves wrong for being different, as though our unique qualities are flaws when they are in truth the spice for our individual and collective stew. Release the bonds of fitting in. Let your freak flag fly. Un-apologize. Be unrepentantly yourself, from soup to nuts. In this way, you relax into who you really are, and from there, confidence springs up naturally. Lovely uplifting confidence. And all you have to do to get it is be yourself without reservation. Warts and all. Ever so different.

It’s time now to embrace that which makes you different, unique, special. Time to celebrate!

So show us your differences. Reveal your unique qualities so that we may celebrate them. So that we may celebrate you. For truly, what makes you different changes the world. And for that, mille grazie.

“I, <your name>, honor what is different in me even as I strive for improvement.”

Molly Burke CPCC MSU
Queen of Confidence
www.lifepurposeworks.com
“Everyone can use an extra wee dram of confidence every now and again.”

This is an ongoing series of posts on various subjects for which I lacked a decent Google-searchable keyword title. Searching Google for ideas produced, “PEARLS OF WISDOM”, which has such a rich flavor of hubris and chuzpah that I just HAD to use it.

Here’s the first part of a pearl …

GET SOME ALLIES.

Every successful person in the world has used help to get where they were going. The smartest sought out assistance early and often and continue to ask when in need. Only the most clueless and stubborn people refuse to get help. Let’s face it, we didn’t incarnate on a planet of over 6 billion people to do everything by ourselves.

Dump the bad old ways.

This is the perfect opportunity to rid yourself of any old notions you might have about asking for help. After all, misplaced pride or a sense of shame has no place on the path of a purposeful life. Any opinions, emotions or feelings that prevent you from accessing all the resources available to you are hindrances to the authentic expression of your Life Purpose. Turn away from the folly of thinking you need to do everything on your own. Remind yourself over and over as many times as it takes that it’s smart to ask for help. It does not profit you, nor does it profit the world to think otherwise.

Here’s a basic fact about Life Purpose: All Life Purposes are complimentary to one another.

What this rightly implies is that they are meant to be used and expressed in concert with others. We are meant to help one another along our paths of self fulfillment. Even in the most solitary of lives or activities, it is important to remember that living in accordance with our Purpose helps to promote and sustain that energy in others as it nourishes ourselves.

Help comes in many forms. One of the most readily available forms of help comes from other people. We call those people allies.

It’s a great idea to enlist the aid of as many allies as you can get to assist you in living a purposeful life. Actually, it’s more than a great idea, it’s a necessity for most if not all Life Plans to enlist the help of allies in order to live richly.

Come back soon for the follow up to this post, wherein I shall discuss what makes someone an ally.

Molly Burke CPCC MSU
Queen of Confidence
www.lifepurposeworks.com
“I’ve bottled confidence. Care for a wee dram?”

During my long reign as Queen of Confidence I have witnessed many triumphs and tragedies of confidence. Periodically I’ll be sharing what I hope shall be pithy insights intended to act as cautionary tales and inspirational anecdotes as well as practical tools for improving one’s own sense of confidence. You’ll also find powerful questions, confidence [...]

Here’s the finishing part of a short series on one my favorite words:
VITALITY
Which we have already ascertained is cool for being a peculiarity, amongst other things. Now let’s talk about vitality and Life Purpose.
The daily practice of Purpose driven living encourages you to expand your present relationship with the peculiar quality of vitality that is [...]

Here’s a quick 2 part series about one of the words I really love.
VITALITY.
A glorious word full of possibilities. But what does it mean, and why might you care, anyway?
On the quest for a better understanding of the word, I looked it up in the dictionary. Here’s what I found:
vitality: 1) a. the peculiarity that [...]

This is an ongoing series of posts on various subjects for which I lacked a decent Google-searchable keyword title. Searching Google for ideas produced, “PEARLS OF WISDOM”, which has such a rich flavor of hubris and chuzpah that I just HAD to use it.
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Here’s what I’ve learned about Life Purpose and and Universe at large: [...]