PEARLS OF WISDOM: PITFALLS AND PERILS (part 1 of a 3 part series)
I continue to notice both in my private practice as well as in my volunteer work some consistently recurring patterns (hey, it’s what I do) that effectively hamstring the some of the finest folks you’d ever want to meet.
Which of these PITFALLS apply to you?
1) Negative self talk: This dandy includes internal berating as well as what I like to call “the stories we tell ourselves”. These stories include seemingly “factual” declarations such as, “I can’t rely on anyone else ever”, “No matter what I do, I can’t seem to get ahead”, “The world is not a nice place”, “Money is scarce”.
The best and fastest solution to counteract the ill effects of this sort of toxic self talk is to shout “STOP” in your head every time you realize you’re talking crappy to yourself. Take a deep breath. Then use a positive affirmation immediately to counteract it. I like these, “Even before I begin, I am made of win!” and “I, <name>, am continually showered with blessings.”
2) Refusing help: Over and over I see really smart people do the same dumb thing: when faced with a daunting challenge or circumstance they do not ask for help. They fail to use the abundant resources around them, and then wonder why their lives are so hard. Even worse, those same people outright refuse fine, useful offers of assistance, help, support, and encouragement. They stubbornly, steadfastly insist that they can do everything just fine all by themselves in the face of contradictory results. They refuse to acknowledge that they are allowing, yes even encouraging their pride, ego, embarrassment or stubbornness to make their lives harder by requiring personal effort instead of expanding their life skills repertoire to include delegation, inclusion, and cooperation.
(whew, that was wordy)
Here’s what I know: we did not incarnate on a planet of over 6 billion people to do everything alone, fercrissakes. In fact, the very smartest, most savvy folks I’ve ever known have sought out help (assistance, cooperation, support) early and often. It’s one of the key practices that materially contributes to their overall success in life.
For more information about getting quality help, please refer to my recent blog series, “Get some allies!”
In the next part of this series I’ll be disclosing another couple of pitfalls and sharing some strategies for avoiding and/or dealing with them.
Molly Burke CPCC MSU
Queen of Confidence
www.lifepurposeworks.com
“Everyone can use an extra boost of confidence every now and again.”
